What's better than Russian teenage lesbian popstars?

Japanese teenage lesbian popstars!

Would I hit it?

Would I ever!

I liked the work Michael Moore did on tv nation and I even found Bowling for Columbine entertaining, but the more I see of Michael Moore the more I think he's a dangerous left-wing extremist.

Dangerous mainly because the public is too willing to regurgitate what it hears rather than study the topics under discussion and I find Moore's information to not always be accurate. Maybe I'm just too much of a moderate to tolerate ranting during the oscars but no one really wants to listen unless you make a big kerfuffle about something on tv.

Can he challenge corporate and political dickheads without beoming a dickhead himself? I'm not sure, but I think I'd like pancakes tomorrow.

Outside of the smells of a good kitchen, the scent of fresh laundry tops my list of favourite smells.

That said, I'm going to start looking for work in the laundry room of an all girls school in japan or korea. Being chinese, I've got all the credentials you need to do laundry.

While at the video store this afternoon, I realised how bad a person I am to go there with due to the excessive time I spend choosing something to watch.

I need to be very sure that I won't regret my rental before leaving the store, even though I was picking up seven week-long rentals for ten bucks.

After all was said and done though, I was indeed glad that I had chosen Delta Force 2 over Juwanna Mann.

Questions I would ask on The Dating Game:

when I find the right girl...

she'll tell all of her friends about all the sweet things I do for her...

and then I'll try to pick them up.

Sometimes... when I read my own site... I think...

that guy is such a dick.

I've always believed that in time, I'd find the perfect person for me.

well kids... that time has come.

What is it with Guinness World Records? They all seem to be based on things completely useless to humanity.

They have records for balancing the most glasses on your chin and chaining the most paperclips together, making the book seem more like a log of the world's greatest wasters of time.

The record for World's Biggest Gangbang is something altogether different though and is indeed worthy of note.

Going through my referral logs is always interesting, as my ecclectic topics tend to attract some odd hits.

Right now, I'm the number one result for loosest pussy in nation and I'm number three for pre-teen boys having gay sex. (and no, I don't actually cover either of those topics here).

Chris might have said it best with "your site rocks".

Why do people laugh at Steve Perry?

That man knows love like no other. (except me)

For the record, Mike Harrison is awesome.

[23:35] klak: yer sooo sweet says my wife
[23:35] evil jesus: yeah, she likes the way I taste

Reloaded was good, X2 was good, but Hero was brilliant.

Hero along with Infernal Affairs is setting a trend for my favourite movies this year to be coming from asia while hollywood blockbusters seem to have trouble living up to their hype.

At least shaolin soccer will be hitting north american theatres with a terrible dub where english is spoken with bad chinese accents.

I've been known to have some unique fetishes like flannel pajamas, but the velour tracksuit and louis vuitton handbag/backpack (real or fake) trend isn't doing it for me at all.

Just by dropping an 'R', you can turn a mean streak into a mean steak.

Mmmm... beef.

Ren suggested that everyone likes sixteen year old girls, but they're all just afraid to admit their pedophillic tendencies. When he brought this up with his roommates, they all just went silent. Either they all agreed and were afraid to admit it or they were getting creeped out by the pedo that just moved in.

As for me, I'm merely a neutral observer with no opinion in this matter.

I had to call atic computers to look for a hard to find part today. The phone call went something like this:
I ended up buying elsewhere which proved to be almost equally as retarded, but that's another story for another time.

Being a typical scorpio, I have a thirst for vengeance that would have me cut my own nose off just to spite my face.

Of course, I'd tear your nose off first since you're probably the one that pissed me off more than myself.

Available: Interface Developers.

Inquire within.

Just as soju was becoming the pivotal factor in making Korea cooler than Japan, shaun tells me that japan has it's own variant called "shochu".

I'm glad I've got another three weeks off to explore the wonders of asia at the liquor store. If I'm lucky, I'll look as rough as ryan "I passed out in a dumpster" klak on a wednesday morning when I come back to work.

My seven year old cousin gave his mom a mother's day card that read: Ain't that cute.

Vacation log : Day 3

Woke up

Had a shower

Ate breakfast

Took a nap

Talked to the internet

Took a nap

Had lunch

Took a nap

Well, that's the last time I pick a movie based only on the name without knowing what it's about.

The PG rating should have been enough to tell me it wasn't what it sounded like.

Before I made internet, I worked at London Drugs selling and fixing computers. We had moved to a temporary store while a new one was being built, and customer use of bathrooms was now somewhat restricted since they were at the very back of the employee areas.

A child who was maybe six to eight years old was watching the demo of Star Wars Pod Racer when he turned around and asked me if he could use the bathroom. I said in a fairly friendly tone "not unless you're going to pee your self". He turned back to the game without another word and I went back to my other duties until a few minutes later I heard a bit of a commotion.

It seems at the tender ages between six and eight, comprehension of the phrase "not unless you're going to pee your self" can be a little weak. Johnny Wetpants had pee running down his leg into a shiny little puddle in my department to which I said "oh shit" and called for a wet-cleanup to the computer department (a rarity due to the lack of liquids we sell within the department). No one came for a few minutes, so I wandered out front to customer service and inquired about who was available for a wet cleanup, at which point the assistant manager of the store handed me a roll of paper towels.

I'll tell you now, that I was not paid well enough back then to clean up puddles of kid piss with my hands and paper towels. The assistant manager ended up cleaning it up (she was a mom, and probably familiar with this type of incident) while I crossed my fingers that the kid wouldn't recite those fateful words I had told him about the bathroom.

I wonder why I've warmed up to the idea of having kids this last year.

[00:48] Taz: shit, [xxxxx] is doing that Speed Dating thing
[00:48] Taz: you know where you get 15 min with each girl at a table?
[00:49] evil jesus: my charm is slow roasted, like arbys

While the sanitized reason for my absence from work has been labelled as "paid vacation", I like to think that these upcoming four weeks of pissing around in the sun was a direct result of what I like to call "inappropriate workplace behavior".

Watching korean movies motivated me to try a bottle of Soju which I ended up enjoying a lot, especially since my drink of choice is often straight vodka.

Soju is light, easy to drink, refreshing even and has easily made it's way onto the list of things I want to drink with a straw while lying naked in the tub. Mmmm.... soju.

When meeting new people and answering the standard "so what do you do?" question, I wonder whether I should answer with what I do for a living (make the internet), or tell them what I dedicate the most effort to (mastur... errr... writing?).

Our occupations tend to become such important identifiers for people who otherwise know nothing about us, as if being known as a web developer would let the other person automatically assume that I surf the internet for porn and fuck around all day. While that may be true in my case, it can't be said for all the guys I work... hmmm... nevermind, that's pretty damn close for the team I guess.

On the other hand, telling people I'm a writer without being published or a dreamer without any dreams realized (how the fuck am I going to get a real working mecha up in this biyatch?) isn't going to get me anywhere either.

Things I love to put in my mouth: part V
Moderne Burger: 2507 West Broadway
A diner out of the fifties with cherry cokes, vinyl booths, fifties music and great burgers and fries. I love everything about this place, including the sweet sink in the bathroom.

While the burger joint on granville island makes my favourite burger (avacado and cream cheese!), moderne offers a more rounded experience with everything that's great about diners.

If you get your mom the KFC mom's meal for mother's day, you are officially a bad person.

Despite being twenty-four and earning a good living, I still live at home.

Being asian, this isn't really out of the ordinary since familial obligation seems to be an overwhelming point of contention between asian parents and their children. Suggestions of moving out are generally met with a barrage of guilt inducing statements which make you feel like an ingrate for even considering leaving the umbrella that your parents busted their immigrant asses fourteen hours a day, seven days a week for over two decades to provide for you.

Upon hearing of my renewed efforts to find a suitable apartment for myself, my dad looked at me as though I had just failed a math test (not that I haven't done that before. I'm a writer, not an abacus).

It ain't easy being asi.

(and yes, I'm still gonna move out)

After watching X-men 2 today, I'm glad to know that along with being granted special powers, the mutations have also made all the women very smoo.

Picked Ren up at the aeroport and with him, thirty dollars worth of dried meats (that he almost got cavity searched over, but that's a different story altogether).

The chopped and formed jerkys were pretty unexciting, but the Tyson Tasty Bites which were chunks of dried roast chicken were quite good. The Chubby Checker jerky was great until two pieces we bit into turned out to be sinew disguised as jerky. Chewing sinew can be described as something very much like chewing a dried condom (I can't and won't verify this for you).

A Long's drugstore brand jerky had a great sweet peppery flavor but had texture like old leather. One of the slim jim formed meat products he brought back turned out to be expired by almost a year, which ren spat out into the toilet and I just tossed in the trash rather than risk colonic destabilization.

After sampling five varieties of american meat snacks, Jimmy's (chinese style) beef jerky made right here in vancouver still ranks as our favourite jerky EVAR!!! The fact that you can pack it into your cheek and chew it like a sweet salty tobacco gives it mega bonus marks.

Some of the simplest things make me melt like processed cheese on a hot griddle.

(yes, I'm being a bad blogger by saying the obvious to those who know me and nothing at all to those who don't.)

Russian pirates have done what the music industry couldn't and now offer music online in your choice of format and bitrate.

Apple's new service was almost done right except 128kbps AAC format audio isn't high enough quality for me to consider purchasing (nor is AAC a format I want to purchase). But for mac users who listen to their music through plastic computer speakers, it just might do the trick.

I really want to see for myself.

Could this really be the best jerky evar!!!?