At first I thought it was pretty cool that the food network had a mentally challenged chef on to show off some recipes.

Then it dawned on me that she wasn't retarded, she was french-canadian.

Despite almost never forgetting a face, I've noticed I seem to have a poor ability to remember new people's names.

Mere minutes after meeting them, I'm usually drawing a blank (unless they are smoo. the XY chromo config takes care of that naturally) and I have to find some way to get them to mention their name again innocuously.

Most new people find it weird when I ask them to sign my bare chest with a sharpie though.

Recent news events have reminded me of the many reasons why I love being Canadian (just in time for Canada day too).

How does a modern society only now overturn sodomy laws and even then, only with a 66% vote? To live in the "land of the free" and still try and control the private sexual lives of citizens is absurd.

It's comparing the legalization of homosexual marriage in Canada to the decriminalization of homosexual acts in the states that really highlights the point that I live in a pretty fucking cool country.

You don't have to be gay to give sodomy a big thumbs up... and a wink.

On another food geek related topic, why the hell do people feel the need to squeeze their burgers with a spatula while they grill?

They're not oranges and you're not collecting the juice, so keep your throbbing tool off those little meat cakes so they don't dry up.

Sara, being the sweetheart that she is, sent me flowers at the office yesterday. As emasculating as it is to receive flowers from a girl at work, it was very sweet of her.

Sang though, need not be concerned that I'm working my fantastic mack on his woman. The bbq chicken he served up last night speaks of staying power. Even I couldn't resist his thighs.

I wore my runners into work on monday and I don't think my feet have been that comfortable in a while. My simples were quite good but I can't find a replacement pair (OS2003) and my newer skechers aren't nearly as comfortable.

My asics (the runners) paired with a dual layer running sock are unreal in the comfort department to the point where I wish I had enough social contempt to leave the house daily in my pajamas, runners and shampoo mohawk.

But as long as I'm still looking for my sara bailey*, I need to dress somewhat like I'm not married and retired. Such is the sad schema of society.

* sara bailey = sang's lady = choice babe

Four years later, she still makes me tingle.

Despite the overwhelming numbers of people crowding into La Casa Gelato on venables, Mondo Gelato on robson has my pick as the much better gelato shop.

Their pistachio gelato is multitudes better and the servings are larger and creamier.

Listen to this smokey and miho track. It's gorgeous (and bossa nova).

They're in town next friday.

Seems the confidence and self assuredness you lose while drunk one week, can come back the other the same way.

Allan seemed to have misunderstood me when I said that I stay on strictly professional terms with my coworkers.

I didn't mean I wouldn't have sex with any of them, only that if I did I would expect one of us to pay the other.

I'm starting to find words inadequate to describe the best things I see in my daily travels... such as the girl wearing a pair of wings (along with a pretty nuts outfit) who exclaimed to the skytrain attendant how "it's the G.O.D. up in ME!!!", giving props to the big J.C. up in the sky, or the rookie immigrant cashier at safeway who after explaining his inability to perform a standard procedure to the cashier in the next lane, just grinned and gave a big thumbs up.

I wish I had a video recorder in my head.

Dario, the environmental radical sent the nature challenge along which encourages you to take action in conserving nature.

While I think most are fairly painless steps to a better tomorrow, I equate the suggestion of eating less meat to breathing less air.

(by posting this, I've accomplished one of my three steps)

Is it totally bizarre for me to think that this quote from Conan the Barbarian is what love should be all about? For context though, this needs to be said in an arnold schwarzenegger voice while curling your biceps and pointing your balled fists toward each other in front of you. Watch the movie for reference.

To the balding dude on the skytrain with the gameboy who kept sniffing really hard and immediately coughing repeatedly; yes, I did want to throw you into a woodchipper a la fargo.

While visiting the links I list on my very own page, I spent some time at Chris Waind's site checking out some of his pieces and was struck by an odd realization.

His works looks as though it could have been produced by a bum, smearing his sketchbook pages with feces, blood, mucous and anything else he could find behind a dumpster. Crazy ramblings are scribbled about everywhere seemingly driven by voices only he can hear. That all said though, I quite like it.

Now when I see crazy ranting bums on the street, I'll think of chris who also happens to be a grade A twat.

How is it that when feeling stronger than ever, I also feel just as weak?

Discerning the truth easily doesn't make it any easier to deal with.

People are suggesting I try the new mcGriddle breakfast sandwich at mcDonald's, saying that it "doesn't make you feel gross".

If there ever was a good reason to eat something at mcDonald's, it's to feel "not gross".

Lineup starts here

"You're bored of looking at naked women?"

Going to a peeler seemed to have become the ritual whenever we lost a coworker but when you lose one every other week, a night of jubblies in a dark humid bar isn't nearly as exciting as it used to be.

Is it unreasonable to think that people that can't understand the escalator instructions of "stand right, walk left" shouldn't be allowed to drive a motor vehicle or breed?

Baboons are crazy.

Another proud moment in inanimate history:

Now found with google using the search term "hot asian female ninjas".

Things right that that really make me smile:

The aspargus wrapped in bacon and the negitoro at guu, pistachio gelato, smoos, and this cat.

What is it about all-you-can-eat deals that cause people to engage in gluttony so readily and eat like it was their last meal?

Hindsight says that for the money I usually pay, I can eat better food and still eat all that I can from the regular menu. So why endulge in the bacteria mines that are allyoucans?

Probably because it's as equally fun as it is gross.

I want to know what your favourite place to eat is.

Sang and I found this taped to a light post near my place after having lunch at nancy wonton house a few weeks back.

We tore it down and I kept it since it seemed... useful?

My version of heaven has streets paved with meat.

If you stole my meat, I wouldn't call the cops. I'd follow the trail of meat juice and kill you myself.

Wow. I'm falling into the typical webblogger habit of bitching about everything and doing it poorly.

A few days back I rode past a girl who must have still been in her teens looking very much the picture of a witch as described by the brothers grimm.

While I'm all for expanding horizons through the use of hallucinogens, there's got to be a point at which you tell yourself to put the needle down and clean your junkie ass up. Am I being judgemental? Hells yeah. Cokeheads are kinda neat, but heroin junkies are so courtney love that you forget all about the music.

Shorty, I don't care if it's your birthday. Put the fucking needle down.

Seeing movie theatre popcorn being eaten in movies set in the sixties makes me wonder why we can't get popcorn in a decent size now (read: small).

The small is about 2 litres of popcorn drenched in 'golden topping' which in polite terms is 'fucking sick'. My brother loves the shit and I don't get why. It's flavorless, nasty, popped-twelve-hours-ago crap sold to you in a bucket to justify it's price.

The last time I hit the cinema though, I cozied up with a beef burrito from the in-house taco bell instead of popcorn. Mmmm... mechanically seperated beef...