Here's a roundup of my favourite technology which makes my day to day life more better.

• Trillian - I use four different instant messenger protocols but manage them all within this single program. Sure I can't have webcam chats with underage girls via msn with it, but it takes care of all my other IM needs without ads and bullshit.
• Primus Talk Broadband - VOIP is nothing new, but primus does it for less than vonage and offers the ultra handy remote phone feature which lets me connect to my phone remotely and make long distance calls from my cellphone for 5 cents a minute rather than 20.
• Firefox is old news but are you using it to its full potential? Adblock+ with Adblock Filterset means I don't see web ads without any effort. Gmail notifier checks my mail for me unobtrusively, and webmail compose directs all mail links to gmail automatically. Drag drop upload lets me drag files into form fields including my webmail making life easier and faster. You'd think with all these productivity tools I'd manage to actually get something done in a day but I don't.
• A Sonicare - I love this toothbrush so much that I'll even let you come over and try mine out if that's what it'll take to convince you of its greatness. ok, not really, but I'll at least let you watch me use it then rub your finger across my teeth to hear how squeaky clean they are.
• iPod - for all the obvious reasons but hook it up to some speakers in your bedroom and use the sleep function to put you to bed before the alarm functions wakes you up with your favourite playlist rather than shitty morning radio DJ banter.
• A french press - I've become quite fond of french pressed (or is it freedom pressed these days?) coffee because there's no filter to throw away and it makes a really rich, bold, murky cup of fucking joe the way I like it. Sure it's a tiny bit more work, but it's good exercise.

If Superman is such a symbol of American values, why didn't he just tear Lex Luthor's head from his body when he had the chance?

While I already consider myself environmentally aware, watching An Inconvenient Truth still managed to be very compelling. It educates you in such a way that failure to act afterwards officially makes you "a fucking asshole".

It's hard to ignore the scientific truth that we are living on a dying planet suffering primarily from an excess of ignorance and apathy and despite the fact that you recycle your milk cartons, you can and should do more.

Me? I'm committing myself to an end of my burning tire pile by the end of 2006.

Your move America.

psycho: everyone in that bloody building owns a frikken dog
psycho: it's like the asian yaletown.
too hot for pants: except shittier
psycho: tiny barky yappy dogs.
too hot for pants: wow, I can't believe I called something shittier than yaletown

Dear skytrain lady,

Despite you not explicitly telling me that you were on the phone, I was able to ascertain that for myself simply by noticing that you had it held up to your head and your lips were moving. It was rather unnecessary for you to try and make it apparent by speaking loudly enough for me to hear you right over the Nine Inch Nails being pumped into my head from a quarter inch next to my eardrums.

It's cool; maybe just next time you can shut the fuck up instead.

Due to many of my neighbors being shitheads who hang things off of their sprinkler heads and smash furniture while moving into others, I've gone through a half dozen fire alarms since moving in last year.

Seeing that I live on the 24th floor this can turn into a long dizzying run down the stairwell. My laziness coupled with my faith in modern fire control technology now means that when the fire alarm in the building goes off, I go press the silencer on the alarm and go back to what I was doing for the 5 minutes that I've bought myself.

When you eventually hear of my death from smoke inhalation, you can go ahead and call me a stupid lazy bastard.

My nightly routine of using Crest Whitestrips has not quite worked out as advertised as my gums seem to be receding and my teeth are decaying.

I suppose I shouldn't have substituted strawberry fruit rollups for the whitestrips for cost savings two weeks ago.

Do you love cats?

Do you also love hitler?

You're in luck then.

I'm watching America's Got Talent and seeing some pretty insane people that seem to think they have pretty marketable talents like juggling and talking to their parrots.

I suppose I should make my way to the set and see if they'll let me sit on stage at a desk in my underwear with a cup of coffee for 10 minutes trying to write a good blog post.

My brother was recounting his trip to Las Vegas and while asking all the questions that mattered it seems he didn't gamble, visit the gun store, the bunny ranch, or see any strippers.

Seems to me he didn't go to Vegas at all.

While shopping at a local supermarket tonight, I noticed that the traditionally branded Sunrise Peach-Mango flavoured tofu dessert sold for a tidy $1.29 while the caucasian friendly branded Peach-Mango Pete's Tofu dessert also produced by Sunrise sold for $1.99 for the same sizedportion.

I'm glad that someone finally decided that arguing for chinese head tax reparations was pointless and that we should get that money back by charging a whitey tax on tofu products instead.

As much as I enjoy writing and more specifically entertaining here on this site, it seems even finding and expressing the alternate angle on the mundane has become mundane even for me.

Every time I start punching the keys (for god's sake), I find the subject matter I'm able to come up with ultimately unsatisfying. Not particularly because it isn't funny or amusing, but more likely that it no longer advances my agenda.

This site was created for the sole purpose of ego stroking (as are most blogs that I can think of). See... I write something witty and funny then you comment about how witty and funny I am. Ooh! pat on the tummy, kudos, high five! You are a funny person. Maybe I've tired of my own ego or maybe I just don't need that pat on the back anymore.

I'm at least proud that even when writing about the most boring of things, I've (hopefully) managed to make it unique or funny in some way. Instead of bitching about my job or my unreliable friends (neither my job nor my friends are really that terrible), I've equated the relief of taking a morning post-coffee dump to finally letting out that secret you've kept from everyone for too long (don't worry, they can treat syphilis).

I'm still not officially retiring though. I'm sure that once in a while I'll still think I know what's best for you to the point that I'll feel like I need to evangelize the point here. It could be the common "why are you still with your asshole/bitch boyfriend/girlfriend? Move the fuck on already!" but that works as well as building a spaceship in your own backyard out of plywood and leftover building materials you stole from the construction site down the street. Six months down the road you'll have figured it out all on your own and I'll do my best not to say "I told you so".

alright. let me think about this for a moment.