The official inanimate faq Q. Why are you such a fucking idiot? A. Years ago I was bitten by a radioactive retard on a school field trip to     science world. Q. If you were a fruit, what fruit would you be? A. a kumquat. Q. Do you like stuff? A. if you mean "stuff" as in cute asian girls with big anime eyes, then yes. Q. Your non-humor posts often seem vague. What are you really hiding? A. My erection. Q. Apart from being a professional asshole, what do you do? A. I make the internet (yes, all of it) from a pirate ship in vancouver with     apples all around me. Q. Do you wanna make out in the bleachers after school? A. Yes. Q. Do you want to exchange links? A. No. Your blog sucks. Q. I think you're a disgusting pervert. Can't you write about drinking     bubble tea, kittens, playing big 2, and sickeningly sweet and innocent     hand-holding instead? A. Ummm... no. Q. Have you ever done it with a dude? A. Not willingly or knowingly.